So here it is: February 16th, 2011. A few weeks shy a year to date of my last blog post. I guess the whole blogging thing really got away from me. Most likely because around March 2nd (my last post), my entire life got away from me and I am just beginning to feel like I am regaining control.
I actually laughed when I saw the date March 2nd because I think that is exactly when things really took off. As of that date we had been official 'home owners' for exactly one month-which was a whole bunch of craziness in and of itself. So what did we do to celebrate our 1 month dive into lifetime debt & stress? Adopted another dog. Totally normal right?! I found the most adorable mid-sized mutt on craigslist "accidentally" and the boyfriend, B, and I took a random trip through a snow storm at 9:00 at night to a town 45minutes away to meet and fall in love with doggie addition #2, Noodle.
While I was still walking around dumbfounded that I actually had a dog named "Noodle," I found out a close friend and work colleague had passed away. She had been my boss all through my undergraduate career while I worked as a work study. She was a mentor and friend. Her incredible optimism and never fading smile was something I greatly needed during those years and got me through some incredibly tough times. She almost symbolized my college years and the loss of her presence caused me to look back and see how far I had come in the nearly 2 years since graduating college.
As I reexamined my life and the path I had taken- I realized that while I was in dans le flou, I had actually accomplished a lot, including growing as a person. Those seemingly mindless, empty days were really not so barren- I had figured out more and more every day the person I was, the kind of life I wanted and how I was going to get it. Of course here I need to pause and remind myself that life will, inevitably, not go according to plan, but it hit me that in those long monotonous months I had built a life that I loved living. I had a great romantic relationship with B, a wonderful group of friends I had not known 2 years ago, A HOUSE(!), a new dog(and my original doggie too!)...despite the loss things started to feel like they were falling into place and I was feeling more comfortable with the role of "adult" and really transforming that role into my genuine self.
Little did I know this was only the beginning of the roller coaster year I affectionately call "The Anarchy" because of it's incredible chaos, confusion and disorder(and let it be known I am not good with any of those things). April brought more loss, this time with my grandmother, as well as my, brother. However, May ushered in my engagement to B(eeee!) while on a vacation of a lifetime. By the time summer was over it had brought a ton of good times with friends along with the start of an ongoing feud reminiscent of the Montague's versus the Capulet's. Fall came with an crazy schedule while I worked a full-time internship while also working part time at night to complete my masters degree. Christmas time toted in yet, another loss- this time of a close family friend- and the ultimate punctuation of the "Montague/Capulet" feud.
So here I am now. Planning a wedding, taking care of our house and doggies, loving life (for the most part). Phase dans le flou complete. Check. Done.
....Not so much. The thing I have realized is that maybe one thing in life is all figured out, or going in a positive direction but there are so many different facets to life-especially at 20 something- that I have A LOT more time to go here in 'dans le flou.' Most importantly though-maybe that's not such a bad thing....
