Today.

Today I have I have no motivation. I feel like being lazy and laying around with the TV on or maybe a good book. My little doggie would undoubtedly curl up next to me and I would nap the day away. It's times like this, I feel the reality of being an adult. It is a Tuesday at 10:26am. I am at work. For six and a half more hours. And when I get home there will dinner to be made, a dog to be fed, laundry to be done. And then repeat. Until Friday. Blah, blah, blah.

The reality of life sets in on days like this where the days of freedom and carelessness are gone, replaced with responsibility. At times this can be nice-I'll take being paid for my 2 weeks off at the Holidays thank you very much, whereas as a college student I scrounged for temporary part time work until school resumed. However, life is so structured as an adult, and while structure can be comforting (especially for a Type A personality like myself) there are days I long for the freedom and spontaneity that I had on a college schedule. Sometimes, like today, things seem so controlled and monotonous with no end in sight. I suppose this is related to what they call 'burn out' or the reason that the character in the movie Office Space went bat-shit crazy on the printer. Totally get that now.

No wonder half the population in America is on mood stabilizers- we can get so bogged down with the redundancy of the work week and the oppression of the workplace hierarchy, drama and expectations. Luckily we accrue vacation and sick time, but Americans are notorious for not taking their alloted time and I see that first hand from my own experience. Yuck.

I know I shouldn't be complaining. The job market sucks, for lack of a better word and I am extremely fortunate to be in a position where I can work full time and support myself. All of us who are employed are inherently lucky for being able to sustain our lifestyles, regardless of how moderate and be able to actively take part in society. I have several friends who have been laid off or recently graduated and are struggling to find jobs and the mental impact unemployment can be worse that the negative bank balance.

However, I think we are all allowed some grumbling from time-to-time. In all of us, though not always recognized, there is a small childish part of our hearts that wants to give up the9-5 routine and runaway to Costa Rica, spending our days rocking in a hammock or simply not having the burden of calling work and telling them 'mmm it's raining today and I much rather stay in my PJ's and eat ice cream today, Kthanksbye.' In the end, like EVERYTHING these days, it's a balancing act of acceptance of life as it is with making time for the mind and soul. One of these days I'll get it right...