Truth

Truth. The truth is, that I should have started this blog a year ago. A year ago, my life was far more 'dans le flou' than it is now. A year ago, I was 6 months out of undergraduate graduation, just acclimating to life in the workforce/graduate school and in a new apartment-our first 'real' home. I had no idea if I had chosen the right graduate school path. I had no idea if I should be looking for a better job, one that was more mentally stimulating and more related to my graduate school major (somehow experience in a business office didn't seem to connect with my psychology B.S. and School Counseling masters). Everything was constantly changing and thoughts were spinning.

Since then, I have settled. A little. With time, a lot of internal energy (and some outside consultation sometimes known as a therapist) I have come to a place where I can look at my life where it is and be satisfied with today. For once, and not always, but mostly I am enjoying the fact that at 23, I have my entire life before me, spread out like a buffet with lot's of options, choices and varieties of life to chose from. I try my hardest to see this as a blessing rather than be consumed by the ambiguity of my life and future. I try to realize that someday, I will be one of the people around me who are constantly gasping at my age with jealousy and conveying their utter most desires to go back to their younger years. Sometimes, this doesn't work. I get wrapped up in how much easier my life will be when I have an established career and have a savings account that reflects more than a mere year's worth of full time work, not to mention not having a full load of graduate school on my plate in addition to working full time. However, I suppose this constant yearn for more is natural and the swing between loving life and wishing for more, really is, what dans le flou is all about.